After hearing the splash I knew I was done for. I knew that I wouldn't make the team that I so desperately wanted to be a part of. I know this because one second I saw black and the next I was trying to swim as fast as I could but I didn't feel like I was going anywhere. I think the idea of me actually being here and being in the water this close to my goal shocked me and I couldn't seem to control myself in a way to make myself go. And I knew that as soon as I got to the other side of the pool to turn around and come back that the other two girls I was competing against would already be done. Why did I even try out for the team? I knew that it would be a long shot of me actually getting on the team. Maybe I was trying to prove something to others. Maybe I was trying to prove something to myself.
The South Georgia High School girls swim team was the best in the district. It was also the hardest to get on. Why did I want to be on? I'm not sure. I think it started with my love of swimming. I have always loved swimming. If I saw water that I could swim in I would dive right in. There was no stopping me. My friends and family always tried to support me. They are also the reason I finally tried out for my high school team. I went my first two years of high school thinking I wouldn't be good enough. But they talked me into giving it a try this year.
I somehow made it to the other end of the pool and back. I got out of the water and went over to my gym bag. As I was getting out my towel to dry my eyes, I heard one of the other girls congratulating me and saying that she thought I definitely made it on the team. As I turned around to see who was talking to me I wondered who had lost their mind to think such a thing. It was Carol. She was probably one of the nicest but most popular people that would ever actually talk to me. I reassured her that I probably didn't make the team. Did she see how slow I was? What could she possibly be thinking? She started talking about how even though I was slower than the other two girls, I had the best form. And how it is easier to work with someone who had perfect form than to work with someone who didn't. That made me feel a lot better. I wondered if I really did have a shot at this or if she was just trying to be nice. I decided to be optimistic and go with the idea that I might have a shot.
The last few girls went for their test laps and then we all gathered around where we could hear the coach. He said the whole "You all are very talented but sadly we can't take everyone" speech. He also told us that the roster of this year's swimmers would be posted outside the locker room at 4:05 later today.
It was 4:04 I could hardly wait to get around the corner to the bulletin board that would be holding the list that would change the rest of my school year. If my name was on it I would have swim practice and swim meets to go to, I might actually feel pretty good about myself. If my name wasn't on the list I would have to find something to do with my time and I would have even lower self-esteem than I already do. I got to the board I saw the paper. I was scared to look at it. I looked. I saw June Harper. I could not believe it. I had made the team.
Right before I fell asleep I thought about everything going on in my life. I thought about how great my life is and was going to be.
I like what you did with this...It seems like most of the dream threads stories took a darker, more nightmarish slant and you used the line about the "splash" to introduce a brighter moment. I'm glad her name was on the list! Those years of trying new things and trying to make teams and meet new people can be filled with such disappointment. Thanks, Raven!
ReplyDelete